My green-eyed girl,
my constant companion for the past 16 years,
my sweet furry friend
On Monday, July 20th, I had to say goodbye to Jingles.
In early May, we had taken her to the vet because of labored breathing. She was diagnosed with a heart problem, her lungs were filled with fluid and her kidneys were not fully functioning.
It was rather disheartening as she had always been a very healthy kitty. She had been to the vet a couple of times for vaccinations, spade surgery and required a check-up once when not feeling well, but other than that, I had no reason to take her to the vet and for that I am very grateful.
I know that 16 years is a grand old age for a kitty;
After all, she was about 80 years old in human years.
Still, I really thought she might be one of those that defeat the odds and live to be 18, 19, 20.
Although she had the will, her body had other plans.
A friend who had been through the same thing and chosen to let her cat die naturally, explained to me what she went through and shared lots of reading on the subject. She regrets that she thought a natural death was best because she felt like it was 3 days of torture for her kitty and said she would definitely do it differently with her current kitty who is nearing the end of his life.
We had this discussion on Friday when Jingles once again was breathing very heavily.
Her breathing had never gone back to normal, she just managed it better on some days than on others. She had gotten so skinny because she did not like the renal food the vet prescribed. Her 2-day stay at the vet was also very stressful for her and she came home with ear mites, so the past couple of months have been rather difficult, especially since we had a 20 day full lockdown and are still under curfew and only in phase 2 of reopening.
I did the best I could. She flat out refused to take the medicine they gave her and I decided I'd rather her eat than not trust me (I did try to trick her a few times but it did not go over well). I gave her tuna to improve her appetite and when I was finally able to get out for some wet food, she turned her nose up at most everything. It was only in the past few weeks that she took an interest in a couple of the varieties I brought home. In the past week, I had to water it all down for her so she could lick it up rather than trying to eat it.
Saturday she was her not okay normal so we spent a lot of time cuddling on the couch.
But Sunday afternoon, she began to look a little frantic and started squatting all around the house. It was at this point that I felt like her organs were starting to shut down. Monday morning, she seemed dazed and was sitting in her own urine.
One of the hardest decisions was taking her to the vet Monday morning to be put to sleep, yet I know it was for the best. I did not want to see her suffer more than she had. There's a lot more details but way too much to share and I've already rambled on enough. Just putting some of her story down in words helps with the healing.
I wanted to have her cremated but there's only one vet's office that does that here and I wasn't able to get there. If you don't have a yard, there's not many options, but let's just say that serendipity stepped in and yesterday with the help of my youngest son's friend from high school, I was able to bury her just around the corner from us, next to a garden. Her body was wrapped in brown paper and a bundle of grass placed on top. She always loved going out on the balcony to eat grass.
Monday I cried a waterfall of tears. Tuesday I woke with a pool of tears in my eyes that plopped out throughout the day. But since then, there's been remembrance and tiny tears of missing her, thinking I hear her and that she will come around the corner or jump up on the couch to sit with me.
Of course, just writing that makes me cry.
So I will close for now.
You will fur-ever be in my heart.
Sending light and love to all.