Friday, July 24, 2020

Farewell my Furry Friend

My green-eyed girl,
my constant companion for the past 16 years,
my sweet furry friend
is gone.
On Monday, July 20th, I had to say goodbye to Jingles.
In early May, we had taken her to the vet because of labored breathing.  She was diagnosed with a heart problem, her lungs were filled with fluid and her kidneys were not fully functioning.
It was rather disheartening as she had always been a very healthy kitty.  She had been to the vet a couple of times for vaccinations, spade surgery and required a check-up once when not feeling well, but other than that, I had no reason to take her to the vet and for that I am very grateful.
I know that 16 years is a grand old age for a kitty;
After all, she was about 80 years old in human years.
Still, I really thought she might be one of those that defeat the odds and live to be 18, 19, 20.
Although she had the will, her body had other plans.
A friend who had been through the same thing and chosen to let her cat die naturally, explained to me what she went through and shared lots of reading on the subject.  She regrets that she thought a natural death was best because she felt like it was 3 days of torture for her kitty and said she would definitely do it differently with her current kitty who is nearing the end of his life.
We had this discussion on Friday when Jingles once again was breathing very heavily.
Her breathing had never gone back to normal, she just managed it better on some days than on others.  She had gotten so skinny because she did not like the renal food the vet prescribed.  Her 2-day stay at the vet was also very stressful for her and she came home with ear mites, so the past couple of months have been rather difficult, especially since we had a 20 day full lockdown and are still under curfew and only in phase 2 of reopening.
I did the best I could.  She flat out refused to take the medicine they gave her and I decided I'd rather her eat than not trust me (I did try to trick her a few times but it did not go over well).  I gave her tuna to improve her appetite and when I was finally able to get out for some wet food, she turned her nose up at most everything.  It was only in the past few weeks that she took an interest in a couple of the varieties I brought home.  In the past week, I had to water it all down for her so she could lick it up rather than trying to eat it.
Saturday she was her not okay normal so we spent a lot of time cuddling on the couch.
But Sunday afternoon, she began to look a little frantic and started squatting all around the house.  It was at this point that I felt like her organs were starting to shut down.  Monday morning, she seemed dazed and was sitting in her own urine.
One of the hardest decisions was taking her to the vet Monday morning to be put to sleep, yet I know it was for the best.  I did not want to see her suffer more than she had.  There's a lot more details but way too much to share and I've already rambled on enough.  Just putting some of  her story down in words helps with the healing.
I wanted to have her cremated but there's only one vet's office that does that here and I wasn't able to get there.  If you don't have a yard, there's not many options, but let's just say that serendipity stepped in and yesterday with the help of my youngest son's friend from high school, I was able to bury her just around the corner from us, next to a garden.  Her body was wrapped in brown paper and a bundle of grass placed on top.  She always loved going out on the balcony to eat grass.
Monday I cried a waterfall of tears.  Tuesday I woke with a pool of tears in my eyes that plopped out throughout the day.  But since then, there's been remembrance and tiny tears of missing her, thinking I hear her and that she will come around the corner or jump up on the couch to sit with me.
Of course, just writing that makes me cry.
So I will close for now.
I love you Jingles!
You will fur-ever be in my heart.
Sending light and love to all.

Saturday, June 20, 2020

Summer Salutations

Each day brings new opportunities, allowing you to constantly live with love—be there for others—bring a little light into someone's day. Be grateful and live each day to the fullest.
(Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart)
 
Hello friends!
I hope this finds you doing well.
In all honesty, I constantly feel like I am having an existential crisis, trying to practice gratitude while being aware of so much injustice in this world.
I wonder how it is that so many people seem to have lost their way,
have forgotten their humanity.
Sometimes I feel like I think too much.
It's a battle to find balance, to find ways to spread a little light and love especially during this time of social distancing and a lockdown with restrictions that change slightly but seems to have no end in sight.
It's been a week since I last walked.
With temperatures already in the high 90's every morning, I really have to push myself to get out there, but definitely feel that some time in nature is very necessary for my peace of mind.
Saturday is Caturday in the world of Instagram and there's always feral kitties to feed along the way.
A little cross-stitch and crochet pillow I recently made for a friend as belated birthday gifts.
Today marks the longest day of the year.
And apparently tomorrow morning in my part of the world there will be a partial solar eclipse so I'll be on the lookout for that.

Happy Summer Solstice.
Stay safe.

Friday, June 5, 2020

The New Not So Normal

Hello Friends!
It's been awhile.

The last time I posted was on Earth Day, April 22nd, and now here we are in June.
Today, June 5th, just happens to be World Environment Day.
Everyone has been talking about how the earth has been able to heal and breathe while we've all been quarantined and under curfew or lockdown for the past few months.  I had really hoped all that indoor time would mean that the environment would truly be cleaner and free of garbage, but that isn't the case at all.
During a beach walk on Sunday, I picked up plastic along the shore.
And on a walk the next day, I passed by a park only to see trash strewn all over.
When January 1st rolled around, I had high hopes for 2020.
A year of perfect vision as I saw it.
The words and mantra I chose were
FOCUS, FOLLOW-THROUGH, FINISH!
I started off strong, but by the end of February, Covid-19 was here and nothing has been the same since.
And we now have a new kind of litter to deal with.
We are on day 80-something of quarantine.
 A partial curfew started March 14th and then from May 11th through the 30th we were put on full lockdown with (thankfully) a 2-hour period (4:30-6:30 p.m.) for exercise within our own neighborhoods.

My husband and I took full advantage of that time to walk.
As a homebody, I always have plenty of things to keep me busy, but for my husband, it was a bit of a struggle.  He has never sat still or been at home for that length of time.
He was finally able to return to work this past Sunday, though once again with shortened hours.  There aren't enough businesses open yet and therefore not enough customers.
We have a 12-hour window for movement, 6:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m.  Masks are supposedly mandatory but there are many who don't wear them.  I take mine with me and wear it when necessary.  If am walking alone and there is no one around, then I see no reason to keep it on.  
I even crocheted one and tried it out one night.  Although comfortable, I did wake up with a few bumps on my cheek the next day so I'm not sure if it was from the heat or from the cotton I used.
A proposed re-opening of the country is planned through September.
It's going to be a very slow process.

So back to this year and how it is unfolding.
If you've followed me for very long, you know that I always try to see the bright side and stay positive, but my mind is currently racing with all that's happening in the United States.  It is necessary for me to write my thoughts down just to keep them from swirling around in my head.
I am disgusted and appalled that we are still steeped in the lies of the past.  

We need progressive ideas to shake people up and wake them from their slumber.
Humans are designed for forward motion yet some people dig their heels in so they can continue living off the backs of others.
To stop moving and evolving is to become stagnant and that's when the scum starts to take over.
Corrupt politicians and intolerant individuals perpetuate the economic inequality and systemic discrimination that tears away at the fabric of any society.  It has gone on for far too long and change is much needed.

I do not understand why people get all up in arms when they hear the words "progressive" or "liberal".  Unlike the current status quo, there is no hidden agenda.  We should all be in favor of public policy that rectifies the detrimental impact of  the moral floundering and ethical failings that we are currently faced with.

In order to stay optimistic, I have to believe that we are at a turning point.  This will be the year of upheaval so that next year, and in the years to come, we can look back and realize that it was a year of shifting and refocusing for a better future.

I hope that you are all well.
Stay safe! 
Spread love!
Take care,

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Earth Day

Today marks the 50th anniversary of the first Earth Day that was organized because of growing environmental concerns.  Government agencies were established and policies were passed, but a lot has changed since 1970 and it's obvious that there's a whole lot more that needs to be done to protect people and the planet.
Today's prompt for the art challenge was mountains.
I thought advice from a mountain would be an appropriate sentiment for earth day.
Took myself on a walk around the neighborhood so I could leave a little love and photograph my mountain doodles in natural surroundings.
An awake heart is like a sky that pours light.
(Hafez)
Living intentionally.
Planting gardens.
Connecting with nature.
Conserving and repurposing.
Simple ways that we can celebrate Mother Earth every day.

Happy Wednesday,
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