Friday, July 24, 2020

Farewell my Furry Friend

My green-eyed girl,
my constant companion for the past 16 years,
my sweet furry friend
is gone.
On Monday, July 20th, I had to say goodbye to Jingles.
In early May, we had taken her to the vet because of labored breathing.  She was diagnosed with a heart problem, her lungs were filled with fluid and her kidneys were not fully functioning.
It was rather disheartening as she had always been a very healthy kitty.  She had been to the vet a couple of times for vaccinations, spade surgery and required a check-up once when not feeling well, but other than that, I had no reason to take her to the vet and for that I am very grateful.
I know that 16 years is a grand old age for a kitty;
After all, she was about 80 years old in human years.
Still, I really thought she might be one of those that defeat the odds and live to be 18, 19, 20.
Although she had the will, her body had other plans.
A friend who had been through the same thing and chosen to let her cat die naturally, explained to me what she went through and shared lots of reading on the subject.  She regrets that she thought a natural death was best because she felt like it was 3 days of torture for her kitty and said she would definitely do it differently with her current kitty who is nearing the end of his life.
We had this discussion on Friday when Jingles once again was breathing very heavily.
Her breathing had never gone back to normal, she just managed it better on some days than on others.  She had gotten so skinny because she did not like the renal food the vet prescribed.  Her 2-day stay at the vet was also very stressful for her and she came home with ear mites, so the past couple of months have been rather difficult, especially since we had a 20 day full lockdown and are still under curfew and only in phase 2 of reopening.
I did the best I could.  She flat out refused to take the medicine they gave her and I decided I'd rather her eat than not trust me (I did try to trick her a few times but it did not go over well).  I gave her tuna to improve her appetite and when I was finally able to get out for some wet food, she turned her nose up at most everything.  It was only in the past few weeks that she took an interest in a couple of the varieties I brought home.  In the past week, I had to water it all down for her so she could lick it up rather than trying to eat it.
Saturday she was her not okay normal so we spent a lot of time cuddling on the couch.
But Sunday afternoon, she began to look a little frantic and started squatting all around the house.  It was at this point that I felt like her organs were starting to shut down.  Monday morning, she seemed dazed and was sitting in her own urine.
One of the hardest decisions was taking her to the vet Monday morning to be put to sleep, yet I know it was for the best.  I did not want to see her suffer more than she had.  There's a lot more details but way too much to share and I've already rambled on enough.  Just putting some of  her story down in words helps with the healing.
I wanted to have her cremated but there's only one vet's office that does that here and I wasn't able to get there.  If you don't have a yard, there's not many options, but let's just say that serendipity stepped in and yesterday with the help of my youngest son's friend from high school, I was able to bury her just around the corner from us, next to a garden.  Her body was wrapped in brown paper and a bundle of grass placed on top.  She always loved going out on the balcony to eat grass.
Monday I cried a waterfall of tears.  Tuesday I woke with a pool of tears in my eyes that plopped out throughout the day.  But since then, there's been remembrance and tiny tears of missing her, thinking I hear her and that she will come around the corner or jump up on the couch to sit with me.
Of course, just writing that makes me cry.
So I will close for now.
I love you Jingles!
You will fur-ever be in my heart.
Sending light and love to all.


happy hooker said...

So sad. Although it's a difficult decision, you did the best for your beloved friend. It's the last act of kindness and compassion. Rest in peace, Jingles. xx

linda said...

So sad, I'm so sorry your beloved Jingles has died Tammy, you did the right thing in not letting her suffer any longer, she had a wonderful life with you and you will meet again. xx

Linda P said...

You haven't been blogging for a while and I can understand why. I've been through the same heartbreaking situation with beloved pets and it's especially sad when you've had Jingles for many years. For the time being we've decided not to have a pet cat to replace our sweet Gino although it's very tempting to give a rescue animal a home which is what we would do if things were different because of the pandemic. You did the very best for Jingles. Take care Tammy.

Maya Kuzman said...

I cannot believe my favourite cat on the Internet is gone!
May you find solace in all the beautiful memories you created with her!

Robyn said...

Hi Tammy,
Let first say how sorry I am for the loss of Jingles. I have had to let go of many of my dogs and my cat Samantha who grew up with me. She passed when she was thirteen. It's never easy. Our animals are not just pets. They become part of us and they love us like God does. Unconditionally.... I believe when we leave this life our furry loved ones will be waiting for us with our human loved ones. Sending you lots of love XO

Betsy said...

Oh Tammy, all of us who have lost our beloved furbabies know the heartache and pain you're going through. You did your best for sweet Jingles. What a loving and happy home she had. That last photo had me in tears. It's beautiful. Please don't ever regret the decision you made. It's so hard to know what to do sometimes but not letting them suffer any longer than necessary has always been so important to me. She loved and trusted you to make the best decision for her and you have written a lovely tribute to her. Thank you for trusting us enough to share with us. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Wanda said...

Oh my heart breaks for you. Your sweet cat. She was beautiful. We had our Molly for 15 years. It's a certain kind of sadness when you lose a beloved pet and companion. Perhaps Jingles will meet Molly in Pet Heaven...sigh...

Linda said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Tammy. We have had to put down many over the years. It's never easy. Sending hugs and happy thoughts your way.


Sybil J. said...

I am so sorry to hear about Jingles. Sending you a virtual hug.

Sybil J. said...

I am very sorry to hear about Ji gles. It is hard to lose a fur campanion. I sometime think I hear my fur baby that died. Sending you virtual hugs.

Lizzy D said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Jingles seems to have been a very special and much loved kitty. May she live forever in your heart. love, lizzy <3

Serena Lewis said...

OH Tammy, even though I shed tears for you when I read about Jingles on your Instagram, I am shedding more now after reading your touching blog post. Again, I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious fur-kid. Jingles couldn't have had a more caring and loving owner.

You made the right decision even though it was an incredibly difficult one to make. I know the pain you are going through after crying buckets for my two boys last year...I still miss them terribly. It must give you a lot of peace knowing that Jingles has lovely resting place in a garden. What a beautiful cat she was.

Thinking of you and sending healing vibes your way.
R.I.P. sweet Jingles. xx

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder said...

Dearest Tammy,
You will not believe it but yesterday I've worked the entire afternoon on finally filing our kitty photos by the year and for each name.
That way I've come upon the old grieve of the loss of six of our furry companions that over the years become really family members!
So sorry for you having had to go through this lately. Yes, 16 years is already quite senior and our Barty boy is in that range. We were afraid of losing him but a Prednisone shot did perk him up. He's very skinny though and for a couple of months now I've began to give him, as well as the very skinny and hyper Bandido and his birth sister Tiggy-Tiger some dry food at noon + the usual snack. They get each a treat, except the obese Speckie girl, she gets only half of what others get.
You know, I always have dreaded to take them to the vet and let them stay overnight. Away from their own safe haven and trusted environment. We all try to avoid any suffering but they actually cannot really talk and express their feelings of pain and discomfort. That is so hard on a kitty Mom to witness.
But your Jingles stayed with you for a long time and she was happy, she had her own domain where she was at ease and happy and she loved you and enjoyed being loved.
So many kitties are being deprived of that.
A big tight hug to you and yes, I do know fully well how this feels, kind of emerged myself into that yesterday. Glad for having worked it out and even more happy with all the photos and video snippets we got. Had to even download yesterday some software for recovering the older, out of date files. So pleased for viewing them once again and we did so; together.
Yes, like Nazareth - Love Hurts 1975 it really feels raw.
But it also speaks of a big heart that is daring to love and give love and shelter to innocent lives.
Love to you and again, a killer hug,

Teresa Kasner said...

I am so sorry at your loss of your precious Jingles. She was lucky to have such a devoted and loving mama. I have a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. My Mocha saw how upset I was for you and put her paws on my shoulder to soothe me. Sending our love your way. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

Quinn said...

Oh Tammy, my heart is full. You know you did the best for Jingles at the end, just as you did for all the years you've been together. It's such a pure loss, as I know very well. I'll be thinking of you. Rest in peace, dear Jingles.

Melanie said...

Oh, Tammy...I am sobbing! When I first saw your heading I said out loud, "Oh no, not Jingles!" I am so, so sorry. Her story of how she declined reminded me so much of Zippo. It's absolutely heartbreaking when they refuse to eat, even when you try and give them their favorite foods. And then their organs breaking down. Zippo lost control of his urine that last day, too. You will miss your precious Jingles forever. It still hurts to think about Zippo, and it's been almost two years. I know her love will be with you forever. Big hugs to you, my friend.

Grammy Braxton said...

Dearest Tammy, I am heartbroken for you. Losing our precious furry companions is so very hard. This brought back memories of my goofy Bandit, one of the best dogs I've ever shared my life with. Sending you hugs of love.

Mereknits said...

Tammy, my heart is breaking for you at the loss of your dear Jingles. Pets are just to best, so much unconditional love. They are always there for you and add so much love and light into our lives. I am thinking of you as you travel this tough path, but I know you did the right thing. Making a pet suffer because we want them around longer is never the answer. Take care and know that you are being sent a loving hug from far away.

Lorrie said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Tammy. Jingles was such a companion and friend to you. Hugs.

kathyinozarks said...

It's so sad and heart breaking when we lose our fur family member.
We lost our 20 year old calico late summer last year and it was devastating. We did take her to the vet here at the lake, and I was able to bury her here. My heart goes out to you.

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder said...

Dearest Tammy,
Coming back to give you another all around tight hug...
Today is a happy day in a way as I uploaded our book, 446 pages in Hardback and Paperback. Mission accomplished, now waiting for the printed version to hold in our hands and for viewing Pieter's life time experience being preserved in print.
Worldwide publishing via IngramSpark, the most complex but best reach. I've done it!
It is pouring down now, thunder but that doesn't matter.
Just wanted to visit you and hold you virtually and tell you my great news.
Big hugs,

Pradeepa said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I still miss the black kitty that I had just for about 2 months, so what you are going through after losing Jingles who had been with you for 16 long years is unimaginable to me. Take care.

SusanLotus said...

Dear Tammy, I'm really sorry for you and understand the great sadness you feel when your four - legged friend has passed away. But a little consolation for you is probably that you feel you did the right thing that made her fall asleep. Now she does not have to suffer from illness anymore. And she will forever have a special place in your heart.
All our four-legged friends have their very own personality and if you have not experienced the love from your cat, you will probably have a hard time understanding the strong deep love you experience with your cat.
We're still talking about our Sally who passed away in 2014 and sometimes we still feel her presence or sense a small shadow slipping past at our feet ... Of course they come to visit. At least we think so. Cats are a bit mysterious.
I´m sure she loved you as much as you loved her. <3
Hugs to you and lots of love and light to you.

Gracie Saylor said...

Dear Tammy, I care about your loss of Jingles and am sending you hugs. You and your family continue to be regularly in my talking to God as I ask Him to bless you.

Angie said...

Oh, Tammy, I am so sorry about Jingles. Last September we had to make the tough decision to put Josie to sleep, and I cried so much. They are such a huge part of our lives - they bring love, attention, entertainment and distraction when we need it! I hope time will heal your broken heart. All my love from Montana!

My Grama's Soul said...

Oh Tammy, your post brought me to tears. Our animals are such an important part of our lives, and to part with them is so heartbreaking.

hugs sent out to you.


ℓaiℓa said...

Im so sorry for your loss Tammy and i hope you are doing well. It seems like Jingles brought you lots of happiness. Sending hugs to you.

Rostrose said...

Oh dearest Tammy,
I absolutely feel with you! I only "knew" Jingles virtually, but I took her to my heart and loved your stories and Photos of her. And now the sweet little one has crossed the rainbow bridge! 16 years is a proud age, but they remain our "children" even when they are old. I know that my two cats Nina (17) and Maxwell (16) will not live forever, and I am afraid of the day when I have to make a difficult decision. I was worried about Maxwell during the corona lockdown because he had a toothache and the vet didn't dare anesthesia because of a heart murmur. We had to take our cat to a specialty clinic with anesthetists (1 hour from our home) and it was not certain that he would survive the surgery. We were deeply grateful that everything turned out well, but we now know that Maxwell not only has a heart problem but is also suffering from kidney disease. When animals grow old and sick, you suffer with them - and yet it is so wonderful what they have given to us. All the love and friendship and the beautiful years - that is the most important and we remember that in the end! I never will forget my Cats Geronimo and Mandarin - Love is forever!
I embrace you very tightly!
Hugs, Traude

Susan said...

Dear Tammy.....NOOOOOOOOO. Not Jingles. Oh, how I always loved reading posts about her and seeing her. She was such a totally BEAUTIFUL kitty. Oh, my heart is so sad for you (on top of the sadness for me. ) Thank you for your visit and comment. Tammy, grief is so terribly painful. Thank you for connecting, my dear friend. Love, Susan

Dee said...

Oh Tammy, I am so, SO sorry. Jingles was such a beautiful girl.

R's Rue said...

I'm so sorry. Hugs. Praying.

Linda P said...

I hope you're well Tammy. You've visited Lebanon, I believe. I hope those you know are safe. It's a tragic situation. We're all concerned for and thinking of you all in that part of the world. Take care.

Mrs. Micawber said...

What a beautiful tribute to a dear and lovely cat. I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts. I cried for months after our last cat had to be put to sleep. Sometimes I still dream about him.

Hugs to you, Tammy. said...

Oh, Tammy, I am so sorry about Jingles! You did the right thing. I know when my old farm dog got sick I took her to the vet not realizing I would have her put down but the vet said she was in kidney failure and that is a very painful way to die. Since then I have never questioned putting my animals down. They are very stoic and they have to be in horrific pain before they let out a sound. I feel like I know Jingles
too. What a sweetie. I still shed tears over Nitty and Annie and of course, Jim but not as often and there are more smiles over good memories. I wish you peace and love and healing and Jingles was so blessed to have you in her life. Hugs ~ Sam

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder said...

Dearest Tammy,
As of today, around 4:20 PM our Barty boy joined Jingles...
I've been with him for the past 14 days, sleeping with him in the Rose Suite.
Had placed two footstools in front of the taller bed, with a cotton rug on top for grip and he managed to jump up and down with that in-between step.
He slept next to me and kept me awake with his 'stories', purred loudly to me and indulging in my replies and smoochies. He's been so loved, all his 16 years + 7 months but especially now during his ailing time. The prednisone did not work and I quit with the dropper form of antibiotics. His heart/lungs were showing severe signs of rapid decline and I called Vet Amanda to stop by today for relieving him from his suffering. I knew, even if he never complained, he has been oh so sweet all his life. Never an accident in the house, not even today... Nothing. He was a black angel and he did act like a nurse cat when I came home after surgery, he held me with his 'arms' around my neck... so sweet. I know for sure that animals have a great sense of feelings and understanding. A lot more than several humans.
Feels relieved now, many tears over those two weeks, it is so emotional and you try so hard to pull them through but you cannot. Glad I opted for this!
On November 15 I will do a post about him, by then I've worked it out more completely. Big hugs,

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